I'm freaking out of the one girl i like! HELP!?

I'm not going to lie i am flat out insane i have always had problems i have always been neglected to come extent and bottled up my felling i have never EVER had someone love me and i mean love and because of that i turned gay in every school i have ever been to in my WHOLE life i have been tormented had the crap beaten out of me cursed at and hated my therapist told me this lads to a obsession disorder so this year i meet a girl and after 13 years of being hated and bottling everything up inside something snapped and i went insane eland i mean insane gym depression and anger went over board because i confessed all my life problems to her without evened e blinking a freaking eye and she listed to and tried to comfort me now she is my only outlet i cling to every move she makes and run to her weeping overtime i get a math problem wrong because i plummet into such an unbelievable insane depression if someone glares at me or even if i just miss a high five i will start getting a feign like i need to vomit and i struggle with suicide thoughts constantly however five never told as ingle person EVER except her now i think its to much for her she dissent twenty his she Osment want me around her but she knows i am mentally unstable however my depression has always been so great i knew if i let her go for Ra second i will go back to cutting and gothic and rock and i don't want that but i know in my state i cat let her go she cares of rime obviously but i am unhealthy mentally i cant tall anyone except her if you led my life you would know how i feel i have fallen fro her because goof this and confessed to her 3 times i know him in love and she ill graduate and leave me behind i cat have that so him ign you please what should i do form begging to end him crazy and some were deep in my mind i know i need help BUT shes normal and i don't want to drag her down into insanity just lie me please WHAT should i do?